He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
