i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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