I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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