You smell like stripper and shame
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
