she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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