guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
