I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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