This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
