So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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