I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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