She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
