thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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