Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
