Well apparently he's into motor boating.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
