STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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