So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
