I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
