no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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