I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
