In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
