this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
