I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
