I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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