And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
