i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
