I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
