I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
