it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
