Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
