A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
