im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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