i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
