ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you made out with another girl for some wings
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
