May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
