I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
