ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
