found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
