No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
