possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
