Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
