He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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