Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
