i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
