don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
