i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
