nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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