i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
