then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
