thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
