I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
