I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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